Jesus, I am a product of the 80s. I am sitting here watching the A-Team, on TV Land, and making a web page about the Kool-Aid Man. I need friends.

Yes, that is the WORST picture of me I could take. Yes, I am that ugly. Yes, I am a loser. Oh, Yeeahhhhhhh!!

(cry)

It's pretty obvious, the Kool-Aid Man is the coolest person alive. He drives around in a red convertible/limo with a trunk filled with Kool-Aid, and has little kids swimming in it. Why?! Because he's that damn cool.

The Kool-Aid man is a sports fanatic.

I mean, just look at the X-treme cover art of him on some of the sand-bags, er I mean, pouches of Kool-Aid. Do you know anyone who could play basket ball with a damn orange?! No!! The Kool-Aid man is so X-treme, he doesn't even wear any protection when he is mountain biking to the X-treme. For Christ-sakes, he is made out of solid glass!!

Look, Tropical Punch! The best flavor in the world. Yea!!

This is how cool the Kool-Aid Man is...

He had an Atari 2600 game. Yes, if you sent in 300,000,000,000 box tops or what ever they were called, you got you're very own Kool-Aid Man game cartridge, for free. Much better than the crap they try to push on you now. Except buying that much Kool-Aid would cause you to developed 17 cavities... Worth the price of an Atari 2600 game made in 1983 if you ask me. Although I am too young to remember this (I was born in '83), Seanbaby covered it on his site. Oh, and if you really want the ROM, I have it here too.

Look, Kickin' Kiwi-Lime! Two flavors that don't belong together. Ever.

One more thing...

Here are some pics of the Kool-Aid Man. Notice the dilated eyes. This guy has to be like 30% or more sugar!! I mean, look at him. He fucking jumps through walls screaming "Oh, yeaahh!", and kills kids in tidal waves of "Super Fruity" Kool-Aid. That, and he has ice cubes floating around in his clear glass head.

Just look at him. This is him trying to fly: